EF newspaper
A spectre is haunting the L-B arcology. The spectre of the Technomancer and the Invisible Man. A fortnight ago 6 murders happened. First one person, then two, then three. Moving down the arcology, but staying above the underhive. Our brave EarthFed officers delivered justice to the murderer, who had a note on him referring to “the Technomancer”. This is believed to be a handle for a terrorist group combining the worst aspects of wetware, cyberware and possibly netware. No corporation’s public liaison officer was available to comment on the Technomancer. Outlandish reports from underhivers (who are prone to exaggeration) include that the murderer had access to a rechargeable EMP device, could create indestructible doppelgangers, and could cause their smartlinks to fail. None of their logs could verify this story. Of course, they also claim that
The other spectre is the Invisible Man. A bank robber hitting banks in this arcology. Eyewitnesses describe being shoved by someone who wasn’t there, doors opening themselves, and a breeze as though someone was walking past. Camera footage, even in the wideband, does not show anybody there. Eyewitnesses with net-vision did not detect a net-presence.
EF news estimates that millions of credits have been stolen, leading to loss of business in billions of credits for the banks, mainly due to loss of confidence. A super-injunction prevents this reporter from reporting which banks have lost credit reserves.
We wish to reassure readers that the EF central bank is a perfectly safe place for your money and we remain unharmed by this Invisible Man. Our vaults have now been irradiated, for the safety of your possessions, and the security of the EF credit.
In other news, many banks have appealed to EarthFed to have their reserves protected by the state. They claim that only state backing can give the confidence needed for the EF credit to not fail. Of course, I am not allowed to draw any connection between these two stories. It is this reporter’s opinion that it is clear that only EF banks can keep the credit safe since other banks are practically begging to become one with the state. Loyal citizens! Bank with EF for complete security, reliable interest rates in both savings and loans, and minimal account fees.
These spectres are most disturbing to all Earth Federation citizens. It is quite clear that the Invisible Man and Technomancer are working together to destroy freedom. They wish to disrupt the EF credit and return to the anarchy that existed before the one world state. They use terror, trying to devalue the credit. They steal hard-earned money so that they can buy bombs and guns to use against innocent citizens.
Clearly we need a clampdown on licences. More checks are needed to search out contraband. We need harsher punishments for people found with unlicensed guns, ammunition, blades, or even bombs. We must also be harsh on anyone issuing a licence to anyone who hasn’t completed appropriate forms and psych evaluating. This reporter is calling for a complete audit of the licencing system. It is my deep suspicion that there are terrorist sympathisers working right within the licence system. A deep audit headed by our brightest A.I.s and bravest of officers will clean up our city.
But we mustn’t wait for our overworked heroes in the police force to come knocking on your neighbour’s door. If you suspect it, then report it. Does your neighbour look suspicious? Are you sure? If so then act on your suspicions. Report them to your nearest EF police branch. Only terrorists have to worry about privacy. Remember that, good citizen. When the brave and loyal officer comes knocking then make sure that you appear as clean as you are. And be clean, loyal citizen.
Advertisments delivered by NetFire
A spectre is haunting the L-B arcology. The spectre of the Technomancer and the Invisible Man. A fortnight ago 6 murders happened. First one person, then two, then three. Moving down the arcology, but staying above the underhive. Our brave EarthFed officers delivered justice to the murderer, who had a note on him referring to “the Technomancer”. This is believed to be a handle for a terrorist group combining the worst aspects of wetware, cyberware and possibly netware. No corporation’s public liaison officer was available to comment on the Technomancer. Outlandish reports from underhivers (who are prone to exaggeration) include that the murderer had access to a rechargeable EMP device, could create indestructible doppelgangers, and could cause their smartlinks to fail. None of their logs could verify this story. Of course, they also claim that
The other spectre is the Invisible Man. A bank robber hitting banks in this arcology. Eyewitnesses describe being shoved by someone who wasn’t there, doors opening themselves, and a breeze as though someone was walking past. Camera footage, even in the wideband, does not show anybody there. Eyewitnesses with net-vision did not detect a net-presence.
EF news estimates that millions of credits have been stolen, leading to loss of business in billions of credits for the banks, mainly due to loss of confidence. A super-injunction prevents this reporter from reporting which banks have lost credit reserves.
We wish to reassure readers that the EF central bank is a perfectly safe place for your money and we remain unharmed by this Invisible Man. Our vaults have now been irradiated, for the safety of your possessions, and the security of the EF credit.
In other news, many banks have appealed to EarthFed to have their reserves protected by the state. They claim that only state backing can give the confidence needed for the EF credit to not fail. Of course, I am not allowed to draw any connection between these two stories. It is this reporter’s opinion that it is clear that only EF banks can keep the credit safe since other banks are practically begging to become one with the state. Loyal citizens! Bank with EF for complete security, reliable interest rates in both savings and loans, and minimal account fees.
These spectres are most disturbing to all Earth Federation citizens. It is quite clear that the Invisible Man and Technomancer are working together to destroy freedom. They wish to disrupt the EF credit and return to the anarchy that existed before the one world state. They use terror, trying to devalue the credit. They steal hard-earned money so that they can buy bombs and guns to use against innocent citizens.
Clearly we need a clampdown on licences. More checks are needed to search out contraband. We need harsher punishments for people found with unlicensed guns, ammunition, blades, or even bombs. We must also be harsh on anyone issuing a licence to anyone who hasn’t completed appropriate forms and psych evaluating. This reporter is calling for a complete audit of the licencing system. It is my deep suspicion that there are terrorist sympathisers working right within the licence system. A deep audit headed by our brightest A.I.s and bravest of officers will clean up our city.
But we mustn’t wait for our overworked heroes in the police force to come knocking on your neighbour’s door. If you suspect it, then report it. Does your neighbour look suspicious? Are you sure? If so then act on your suspicions. Report them to your nearest EF police branch. Only terrorists have to worry about privacy. Remember that, good citizen. When the brave and loyal officer comes knocking then make sure that you appear as clean as you are. And be clean, loyal citizen.
Advertisments delivered by NetFire
- Sale! Body armour special!
- EF banking. The only banking 100% backed by the state.
- Aries weaponry. Quality you can trust. Click through for voucher code.
- Soma, by MedEvac.
- SaMo, by Organitech
- Honest Bob’s 99.99% (to .01% tolerance) legal licenses.
- Honest Bob’s hidden lock-boxes.
- Generic Brand Soap.
- MedEvac DocWaggon
No comments:
Post a Comment